sexcon

One thing that always fascinates me about working in the field of sexuality is how not sexy our work and the presentation of our work can be. As I have sat and listened to several presentations about various sexual issues, I am amazed at how dry and bland the presentations can be. Not to say that there isn't some great work being presented and some really wonderful ideas being explored - it's just how it's being delivered.

I mention this for a couple of reasons. One is that there is a constant concern about the so-called greying of the field. I often find this confusing as a (relatively) young, recent PhD who has many friends and colleagues who are also young - and I'm considering young to be under 40 or so. What is not confusing is how these conferences are not appealing to young, hip, cool, and otherwise interesting folks. I mean more exciting and cool people go to comicon than come to AASECT or SSSS. We're talking about SEX people. It's supposed to be something that is hot, fun, pleasurable, good, right? Which brings me to my second point. Part of being at conference in a different city than where you live is that you go out and explore the bars and nightlife and culture. So while sitting in a bar last night where there was a strip competition, lots of hooking up taking place, and some sexual activity even taking place right at the bar, I started noticing how many of the songs and videos that were playing were about sex. I am a sex conference that isn't very sexy (informative and important, yes) and out watching all of this hot sexy stuff taking place just down the street. It starts to dawn on me that if we want to attract all of those smart, interesting, cool, fun, and creative young people then we need to start making studying sex a little more sexy.

In the future, I want to hear people getting excited about going to sexcon because it's not only interesting and informative but it's fun and sexy and a good time. To close, I leave you with one of my favorite songs about sexuality by billy bragg. enjoy.

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My "Why I Love AASECT: Top 10 List"

Last week I turned 37....and unlike a lot of women my age, I actually can't wait to be 40. 40, contrary to public opinion, is not "the new 30"....turning 40 is about settling into, knowing and celebrating oneself better than ever. If there's any doubt about this, just look at the fabulous ladies of Sex and the City..... and the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists of course.

It seems bizarre to imagine that AASECT was formed only 3 years before I came into the world. Then again, it wasn't even 100 years ago that we would all have been arrested for doing this work publicly. We've come a long way in many ways thanks to AASECT.

This year AASECT celebrates 40 years of leadership in expanding knowledge, practice and professional networking in the fields of sexuality education, counseling, therapy and health care provision.

And so...as I sit here in New Orleans at the 40th Annual AASECT Conference, "The Rhythm of Our Roots: 40 Years of Sexuality Education and Health Celebrated Through Song, Story, and Science" thinking of the numbers of people who have had their lives change for the better because of this organization, I ask myself... just what does one give back as a present to a 40 year old organization that has helped increase pleasure and decrease suffering for untold numbers of people?

Well, being the historian of sexuality that I am....I can't help but think that it would be pretty remarkable, inspiring and fun to get people (AASECT members, soon to be members, etc...) to list their top 10 reasons for loving AASECT. So let's just do it....and put it all together in a giant e-scrapbook wrapped in a big red bow so that when they are celebrating the 100 year anniversary they can look back at fabulous 40 and know what we all know.....

I love AASECT because....

10. it enforces the highest professional standards/ethics in educating and certifying members

9. it is one of the only organizations that prioritizes certifying sexuality professionals

8. it was founded by an amazing, inspirational and powerful woman, Patricia Schiller, MA, JD

7. it is turning green this year! (if I'm not mistaken, it's the first sexuality organization to do so)

6. of the fantastic mentorship opportunities and web resources it provides

5. it is committed to lifelong sexual health, pleasure, happiness and well being

4. it values science

3. it embraces interfaith dialogue in the quest to provide sexual understanding and healing

2. the conferences are impeccably planned and executed. Not to mention FUN!

1. AASECT members are courageous, committed, supportive and yes, sexy (I had to say it!~)

Why do YOU love AASECT?

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A Red Eye for Sex

I arrived in New Orleans for the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) 40th national conference extremely early this morning having taken the red eye out of San Francisco at midnight last night. This was the first continental red eye flight I've taken since moving to the west coast, and much like night flights to Europe, I'm feeling discombobulated, lost, confused, and even a little scared, although not quite as frightened as I was feeling a few hours ago during my 6 am layover in Houston. Remember this was 4 am Pacific Time and I had only "slept" a few hours in that last row of seats that don't recline. You know what I'm talking about...

As I am sitting (slouching, hunching, falling over) at gate E3 at the George H.W. Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston, Texas, at 6 am, a news story on the giant flat screen TV that all hundred of us are watching catches my attention. The report was about a male couple in Virginia who showed up at the county courthouse and "tricked" the deputy into giving them a marriage license because one was dressed as a bride. My hackles stood on end. They followed this by showing a clip of Oprah with the pregnant trans man from Oregon (we're all familiar by now). Some guys laugh behind me. I'm ready to go into fighting mode. I turn to look. Two teens looking at a book. Back to the story. A trans activist is talking about how ridiculous it is to hunt these two young people down. Tension. Then I realize that not a single person is reacting to this story. Only me.

So many of us GLBTQI folks are constantly preparing for a confrontation or an attack that it has become habit to be on constant guard and to react at the slightest mention of something queer. As I prepare to be part of one of my favorite sexuality conferences in the amazing and wonderful city of New Orleans, I'm going to try and focus on the successes we have had. I want to live in a world where we can still have a debate around certain issues (although, I'm not sure this is one of them) without feeling like the mob with torches and ropes is coming around the corner. Maybe I should give my fellow Americans the benefit of the doubt...

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