A guest blog from Virgie Tovar. If you're interested in guest blogging, write to me at isaacg at sfsu dot edu. We'd be happy to have you!
Female fetishists are of the same mythical stuff that unicorns and multiple orgasms are made of. Or so it would seem if you were to read almost any literature relating to fetishism. Well, I'm not mythical. I'm a 25-year-old woman. I'm a breast fetishist. Oh, and I identify as straight.
So what does all that mean exactly? Let's hit Part 1 first - my fetish.
The funny thing about a fetish is that no one knows exactly how you get one. Two people could be raised in exactly the same way, exposed to the same people and situations, and one could develop a fetish while the other doesn't. I happened to have been breast fed until I was four by my mother, a woman with huge boobs. In adhering to the most stringent of definitions of fetishism, it means that I have an erotic fixation on an object, an abnormality that precludes me from experiencing arousal from anything beside this object. The object: boobs. It's not an
unusual fixation, but it's a level of obsession that did limit my orgasms to those inspired by fantasies of the fleshy fabulousness of other women's breasts from the age of 4 to the age of 24. Nowadays there's a little more diversity in my fantasies, but not much.
Part 2: I love men.
My 40DD breasts play a huge role in my playtime with men, acting as appetizer, entree and dessert in a lot of ways. I become wildly aroused with my partners, but my clitoris lies dormant, unmoved by begging and even prolonged visits from expert tongues. I have still never orgasmed by the stimulation of a partner. When I'm alone, however, I indulge in fantasies about huge breasts and big nipples. Though in actual experimentation with women's chests, I've found myself completely unaroused. Confusing, I know.
In my book, Destination DD: Adventures of a Breast Fetishist with 40DDs
, I cover what it's like living with my "abnormality:" "My fetish makes orgasms easy and relationships hard. It's brought about questions about whether I needed therapy, hypnosis, the right man, the right woman, about whether I was a lesbian or I needed a chick with a d*ck."
Am I sure I'm straight? As sure as I am that I'm a fetishist. And if you're reading an American Sexuality blog, you probably know that sexuality is not as easy as girl + boob love = gay. I'm playing with the idea of identifying as queer. I guess the question that I ask myself the most is: what better defines a person's sexuality: their fantasies or their real-life sexual behavior?
The world may never know!Visit Virgie at her website: www.BreastFetishist.com. Buy her book on amazon.com or at Good Vibrations in San Francisco.