Traditional Values Defined

Once in a while amongst all the email offers I get offering to increase my penis size, buy prescription medicine, and sign up for a subprime loan, I get a true gem.

This week's winner is a message from one Pastor David Wetzler. Pastor did not want his name revealed but underestimated the power of google. Here are some highlights from his message about 'traditional' values...

- We support the God-ordained institution of the family, which is a union of a man and woman, with or without children—and is based upon marriage, blood, or adoption...

- The epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases running rampant in our culture is evidence of the failure of the sex education movement...

- Homosexual behavior is explicitly condemned in both the Old and New Testaments as an abomination and a violation of God’s standards for sexuality...

- We oppose the normalization of sodomy as well as cross-dressing and other deviant sexual behaviors in our culture...

- Pornography is a progressive addiction that ruins the conscience of the person. Frequently, this person acts out his sexual fantasies by molesting children, raping girls, and committing other sexual crimes—including murder...

- Individuals may be free to pursue such behaviors as sodomy, but we will not and cannot tolerate these behaviors. They frequently lead to death. We believe in “discrimination” in the good sense...

- It is not “hate” to fight against such cultural forces as pornography, drugs, abortion, and sodomy...

So let's see what lessons and questions I took away from his Sunday school:
1. God ordains institutions. Is there a certification process?
2. My learning about STDs actually increases my chances of contracting one.
3. God has sexuality standards - are they ISO9001 compatible?
4. Cross-dressing is a sexually deviant behavior. Women wearing business suites and Scots will burn. Do cross-dressers who engage in sodomy get punished more than those who don't?
5. It is Christian to hate and discriminate - if only done for the right reasons. Who defines the "right reasons"? Pastor Wetzler.
6. Last but not least - is something wrong with me that I watch porn but don't have fantasies about molesting children and committing sexually-charged murders? If something is wrong with me, can Ted Haggard be my personal counselor.

Amen.