Topless Chef

I admit it. I’m a food junkie. No, not Rachel Ray. I’m talking Anthony Bourdain No Reservations, Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern’s, and of course, the kitschy kitchen drama of Top Chef.

What turns me on? A beautifully chopped mango. A balsamic yuzu reduction. A perfectly seared steak – and this even after turning vegetarian – nothing wrong about fantasy!

So imagine my disgust watching last week’s Top Chef 3 Miami episode. Do we really need a jacuzzi scene? Sure, Camille looked great in her bikini, and I guess that passing shot of one of the look alike white guys before the mirror wasn’t so bad either.

But isn’t food sexy enough without the sex? I don’t want to know what’s underneath the chef frock. Nor do I want to know who’s in bed – or on the counter – with whom. Dueling knives is where it’s at for me.

So please, Marcel, bring me back my foam.